I had a friend who was a young Asian twink and tried to milk it for all it was worth. He was a hairdresser who said he was tired of living with his mom and wanted the good life. He would frequent bear bars and parties hoping to snag a daddy. Guys were interested but never for very long. Why? Because he wouldn’t put out.
He was good at leading guys on to think he liked them but once it came time to do the deed he always backed out. He had the hetero mindset of not putting out until he got something first. That may work for those with a vagina but the gay world is different. Not only did he almost get rapped one time he’s still doing hair and living with his brother.
Nobody except for your mommy and daddy is going to take care of you for long if you’re not putting out.
Thanks to the internet it’s easier for gay men to connect than ever before. On the flip side, that also means there’s more competition for Americans than before. Just going up to an older man with your hand out isn’t going to cut in most cases anymore.
What Most Americans Want
Let’s start off by talking about what most Americans are looking for:
- Younger Guys
- Physically fit guys
- Guys who are good in bed (you didn’t think you wouldn’t have to put out did you?)
- Guys who can hold an interesting conversation
- Helpful guys
- Having a big tool is a plus but not necessary
Tip 1: Be Helpful
Let’s face it–sex is easy in the gay community. Just spreading your legs isn’t nearly enough to keep an American daddy around. You have to make him appreciate you. The best way to do that is to be helpful. There are several ways you can make yourself helpful to a daddy:
- Cook him a decent meal–the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach
- Keep the house clean
- Help him find a good deal when he is shopping for something
- If he’s new to your city tour him around
- Give him your time. I don’t just mean sex I mean you spend time with him in his house. Go to coffee with him, make him feel comfortable
The goal here is to make yourself as useful and indispensable as possible. It may seem like a lot of work but if it gets to the point where he’s depending on you to do the grocery shopping and get the best deals he’s a lot less likely to drop you whenever you guys have a disagreement.
Tip 2: Attitude is (almost) Everything!
I belong to an older younger gay men’s discussion group on Reddit. We love joking about how we love to burst entitled little brat’s bubbles. There may be a few daddies who are attracted to cocky, entitled, little urchins but not money. Most of us want a guy who we feel like enjoys our company and wants to be with us.
Acting like you’re doing him a favor because you’re sleeping with him isn’t going to win you any points. One of the worst things you can do is try to leverage your sex. In my discussion group, there’s a consensus that the quickest way a sugar baby gets dropped is if he tries to use sex as a weapon.
If you want to be successful at this you need to smile, make sure you look at him during sex and be happy to be there. If he’s not your type try to find something about him you do like about him. Another friend of mine said he’d just focus on whatever attractive aspect of the guy he could find–even if it was just an ear lobe!
Just remember, nobody wants to feel used.
I remember I met this guy when I was living in The Philippines and he was great. He cooked good food, he cleaned, he was a hard worker, and was nice. There was just one problem–he was fat. Not even that fat; he was chubby but combined with the fact that he was losing his hair it was just too much.
I tried to make myself like him, I really did but I just couldn’t. I just kept thinking if I want a fat balding guy then I could just get a financial equal. To be honest, I still feel a bit guilty but the fact as I’m a man. I’d rather have a hairless twink princess than a fat balding guy. Young hairless twinks are what make my dick hard and nothing is going to change that.
You don’t have to be 19 years old to get an an American daddy but you do have to be younger than him and physically fit.
Tip 3: Size Doesn’t Matter (that much)
How many times have you been asked how big is your dick? I’m guessing more than 10 times in your life. So it’s natural to think you need a big one if you expect to land an American as a top. Good news! That’s just not true. Okay yes, there are some size queens out there but what most guys are looking for is a top that can satisfy them. Big ones might be fun to look at but they don’t guarantee satisfaction.
The best way to make sure your daddy is satisfied is to ask him what he likes, keep going until he’s satisfied, keep your eyes open, make lots of noise (not exaggerated), and kiss him a lot. The most important thing is he wants to feel like you’re enjoying it so you need to convey that to him.
Tip 4: Don’t Ask for Money
We all know economic security is probably one of the reasons you want a sugar daddy. I’ve discussed in my Gay Dating with a Big Age Gap article, there’s nothing wrong with that. We daddies know it too.
That being said if you ask for money right away you’ll just cause him to raise his guard and never trust you. There’s even a good chance that once you guys have sex you’ll never hear from him again.
I don’t recommend you ask for money at all frankly. After you’ve established a relationship of trust and he’s comfortable with you, then you can let him know something you may need help on and then let him decide if he wants to help or not. Most of the time he will. I had a friend who provides for all of his sugar baby…I mean husband’s…needs and is happy to do it because the guy is good at making him feel like it was his idea to give him money.
Please don’t push it. If you’re looking to just be an escort in exchange for money that’s fine too as long as both parties know what it is. Many guys choose to be escorts because they find that easier than maintaining a romantic relationship.
Tip 5: Try to Find Things in Common
Even the best sex and being the most helpful person will only get you so far. If you want the relationship to last you have to have things in common. Find out what he’s into and see what you could also get into. For example, maybe he’s really into theater. Do some research on theater companies and clubs. If he likes to play a sport try to get into that.
I don’t recommend just trying to copy his interests completely though, most guys can see right through that. It has to be something you can see yourself genuinely getting into. There’s got be at least one major thing you guys have in common. If not you’ll get tired of faking it and the relationship will end.
Check Out These Gay American Daddy Dating Apps
The most important thing to finding an American daddy is to look in the right places. I don’t recommend Grindr to find a sugar daddy. Most people use Grindr for sex. You’ll get guys that’ll tell you what you want to hear to get your pants but chances are good you’ll never hear from them again after you do the deed.
Your best bet is to go to a site where guys are looking for a relationship. I have an entire list of dating sites for guys who are serious. Remember, most sugar daddies don’t like to be called sugar daddies and want to feel the relationship is as authentic as possible.
That’s why you’re more likely to find them on legitimate dating sites. My personal favorite is eHarmony since they match you based on compatibility. Trust me, most older men would take care of a younger man with glee if he has things in common with him. If you’re willing to do international then try INgaydating.com.
Another good option is to hang out in the Bear/Chaser community. Find bear parties in your community, send the host a picture of yourself with your shirt off and ask if you can attend. A good app for that is Growlr. A good chunk of the chasers out there are actually sugar babies.