Advice for Filipinas Looking for an American Husband

How many times have you told yourself “I want an American boyfriend” or “how do I get an American husband”? Read this article to help you achieve your dream of living in America and helping your entire family!

First and foremost let me start off by speaking the truth. Most American men that are interested in dating women in the Philippines or abroad are looking for younger women in good physical condition. We can debate forever whether that’s morally right or its wrong but that’s the reality. That doesn’t mean if you don’t fit into that paradigm that you cannot get an American boyfriend it just means you might have to do a few extra things.

Tip 1: It doesn’t matter how pretty you are but you must look your best

“Why do foreigners always get the ugliest Filipinas?’ That’s a question I hear a lot and it has a few answers. One because standards of beauty differ but two and more importantly because of the attitude.

I discovered pretty quickly after arriving here that the ‘ugly’ girls just had an overall better attitude. They tended to be more helpful and willing to do what it takes to satisfy their man and I don’t just mean in the bedroom either. Pretty girls, I found, almost expected me to cater to them even though they were the ones that approached me.

I have literally received messages from pretty girls offering to let me buy them gifts!


If you are beautiful simply being willing to be seen with him and spread your legs in the hotel room isn’t enough to get and keep a foreign man. Very few foreign men will put up with a bad attitude for long just because the girl is pretty. However, you must be physically fit. I’m sorry but very few foreigners that travel to Asia are looking for fat women. They can get that in their home countries. If you are having trouble getting rid of that fat read about the Fat Decimator System!

Tip 2: Be helpful

This is so important and yet I don’t see enough girls doing it. Most foreign men come here alone. We all know how many people here are waiting to take advantage if they can. A very quick and easy way to get to a foreigner’s heart is to be helpful.

There are several ways to lend a hand:

  • Help him to find a place to live that is safe and secure at a fair price. This will probably take up an entire day of your time but its well worth the investment.
  • Make sure he’s getting a good deal! Before he even arrives make sure he’s getting a good price for his hotel.
  • Ask him what he wants to do and what part of town he is staying in and advise him. Essentially become his travel agent.
  • Fetch him at the airport. If that means missing work then that’s what it means.
  • Have a home cooked meal prepared for him when he arrives if you can. If he sees that you’re willing to go the extra mile for him you’ll have an advantage over your competition.
    • He will most likely reimburse your lost wages/expenses just don’t come with the mindset that you expect that to happen. You just have to present it the right way!

Related: How to Make a Foreign Guy Fall in Love With You

Tip 3: Don’t ask for money

We all know economic security is probably one of the reasons you want a foreign boyfriend. As I’ve discussed in a previous article there’s nothing wrong with that. We foreigners know it too. That being said if you ask for money right away you’ll just cause him to raise his guard and never trust you. There’s even a good chance that once you guys have sex you’ll never hear from him again.

I don’t recommend you ask for money at all frankly. After you’ve established a relationship of trust and he’s comfortable with you then you can let him know something you may need help on and then let him decide if he wants to help or not. Don’t push it. If you’re looking to just be an escort in exchange for money that’s fine too as long as both parties know what it is.

Tip 4: Don’t let him pressure you for sex

Let him know soon after you begin talking what your boundaries are for a relationship. If your goal is to get money quickly then you’ll have to have sex with him relatively quickly. I recommend you play the long game and not ask for money at all for at least 3-6 months after you’ve begun the relationship. If you present yourself as a nice respectable woman that isn’t just after his cash then you won’t have to give him sex until you’re ready.

Don’t worry if you’re not a virgin though. Very few, even religious Americans, care if their girl is a virgin or not. Our culture is different and female virginity just isn’t valued in American culture anymore. So there’s no need to lie about being a virgin. In fact, if you lie and get caught you may cause him to lose trust and maybe even end the relationship.

The bottom line is if a guy is threatening to leave you if you don’t have sex with him then trust me he’s not serious and has no intention on marrying you anyway.

Tip 5: Avoid abusive foreigners

While there are plenty of scammers here waiting to scam foreigners, sadly, there is a minority of foreigners that are abusive to their Filipina spouses. You don’t want that; trust me. I know the allure of going to America is strong but I’ve heard stories of Filipinas committing suicide because of abuse.

You can protect yourself by being a person of integrity. If all you’re looking for is a sugar daddy then expect to have a domineering and controlling partner. That’s the only reason most men are willing to be sugar daddies.

Here are some other warning signs to look out for:

  • Claiming love too quickly
  • Quick to anger
  • Insults you or your family during arguments (serious insults that are really meant to hurt you)
  • Promising a visa right away
  • Constantly bringing up how much money he’s spending on you
  • Not respecting your sexual boundaries

Related: Christian Filipina Pros and Cons

Respecting your sexual boundaries is critical. Yes, a foreign guy will want sex and you need to satisfy him, as he you, but you are not his play toy. If he doesn’t respect you enough to back off after you’ve told him several times you’re not ready for sex what makes you think he’ll respect you more after you have sex with him because of his pressure? I mean do you really want a guy that always pressures you for sex?

Tip 6: Meet guys in the right places

Where you go to meet American guys is critical to your success. If you meet a guy in a bar then chances are high he’s looking for a bar girl. If you meet a guy on a sleazy website then chances are high he’s looking for a sleazy woman. If you want to meet sincere guys who are serious about marrying you then go to sites where guys are serious.

Related: Christian Filipina-the site to meet serious guys

You don’t need to limit yourself to dating sites for foreigners looking to meet Filipinas. Many sites are full of single men that are looking for a nice younger wife that is serious. My personal favorite is They can help match you with serious guys who are actually looking for marriage and not just fun.

If you want an American husband you must be genuine!

I’ve seen many happy Pinoy/foreign relationships. In the truly loving ones, I see one common theme. No one is using the other. The Pinay is not just looking for money and the foreigner is not just looking for a young sex object. In short, they both actually love and care about each other!

Good luck in your search for a foreign lover!


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